Can you be happy as a creator?
This post is different than my typical entries that focus on some educational aspect of craft or how-to instructional. Today though, I’m going to talk about happiness as a creator. Figuring out how to be present. Finding happiness in the moment.
It’s easy to think “I’ll be happy when…” When I crack this story. When I get more followers on social media. When I figure out how to draw hands. When I get a book agent. When a publisher buys my book. When I make the New York Times bestsellers list. When I get a bigger advance. When Hollywood options my book. When I reach the next arbitrarily defined measure of success.
Happiness is never going to be a destination you arrive at. (Unless it’s Hawaii. That’s probably a pretty happy place to arrive at.)
The truth is, most folks are not going to achieve major financial rewards. But what about moderate financial rewards? Meaning, not being a super-star but finding enough success that your art can be your day job. Honestly, that’s really hard too. I certainly haven’t yet. I have a “day job” and even though I feel like I’m headed in the right direction, it’s going to be a long while before my “creative job” can replace that. And maybe it never will.
If those are the definitions then I may never be happy as a creator. And the truth is, I struggle with that idea. Pixar’s movie Soul is about this. Joe Gardner’s ambition is to be a full-time jazz pianist. He ends up achieving this and in the moment there is bliss but that quickly fades and afterward he is left wondering “what now?”
Peter Docter and Kemp Powers, Soul’s co-writers and directors said that message of Soul is “life has meaning that goes beyond personal ambition. That we’re already enough.”
This is a lovely message for a movie but this is the real world and I have goals, ambitions, and things I want to accomplish creatively. How do I come to terms with being “enough?” For me, I think that lies with being able to find joy in the act of creating and not the outcome.
There is no one in my life that loves me because of the drawing I did or the book I wrote. They love me for who I am as a person. In 100 years no one is going to know that I existed. It’s pretty unlikely anyone will care about any of my published works. (I’m struggling to get people now to care.) And if on the off chance I become some author future generations still read, who cares? I’ll be dead, there is no way whatsoever that reality could possibly affect me now. How is it working out for van Gogh?
I saw a TikTok that talked about how the past and the future do not exist. There are only memories, now, and imagination. Or thoughts and now. You will never leave the present moment. There is no future that you will ever arrive to. You can only ever live in the present moment. When you move your attention to focusing on where you are right now, that is the fastest way to be at peace.
Be happy where you’re art is now. Be happy with who you are in this moment.
-Write on
Other Stuff
My agent received the book contract for Woodland Hills from the publisher. We’ll review and return it. One step closer.
Family Stuff
We planted a little garden on the side yard. Mostly potted herbs but also planted some sunflowers from seeds. Excited to see how those grow. I haven’t planted a vegetable garden since I was a kid.
Thanks for reading. See you next month!
-Josh
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